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There was a video that I watched not too long ago that really inspired me. The video was of Will Smith, the actor, talking about his first skydiving experience and something he said really spoke to me. After explaining the fear that he felt leading up to the jump and then the bliss he felt once he stepped out of the airplane, Will said, “God places the best things in life on the other side of terror. On the other side of your maximum fear are the best things in life.”
Fear is a crazy thing. I mean, it makes sense to be afraid when you are out hiking and run into a mountain lion or bear… because, you know, they can eat you! It makes total sense to be afraid in that situation. What you do not want is for fear, at any time, to paralyze you. Even in the mountain lion or bear situation, if you get so afraid that you cannot move, fear can prevent you from doing what you need to do to live!
Fear can also keep you from having some of the most amazing experiences of your life! The fear of being hurt emotionally can keep you from experiencing the most amazing relationships. The fear of failure in business can keep you from experiencing financial freedom, time freedom, etc. That is what I consider to be an unreasonable fear. Yes, if you fail or if someone hurts you emotionally, it can be painful… but what if you succeed? Or what if that person ends up being “the one”? Don’t get me wrong. I have experienced a lot of unreasonable fear in my life. Actually, I am still working through unreasonable fears! I think that is something that you have to work on your entire life.
What did I fear? I was afraid of opening my coaching / consulting business. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of what people would think of me. (Would people think it was a silly goal?) I was afraid of not being able to support my family. For so many years, I let that fear paralyze me.
Now, technically, I have been living my passion via various jobs I have had over the years. I have been helping organizations, teams, and individuals identify goals and develop action plans to reach those goals for the past 18 years… and, honestly, I have loved it! But I let fear keep me from pursuing my own dream of helping others through my own business!
Well, last year, I finally put things in motion to conquer my fear and begin the journey towards my dream. I had to conquer several fears… There was the fear that I felt around opening up my LLC. I even signed up to get my Strategic Intervention certification from Robbins Madanes Training (yes, Tony Robbins and Chloe Madanes). Even hitting the submit button to pay for the training was completely scary for me. After all, it was expensive and would require a lot of time and commitment on my part. I thought, “What if I wasn’t able to complete the training or what if I didn’t get approved for the certification after all that time and effort? All that money would be wasted!” Now, I am happy to say that with a lot of hard work and the complete support of my amazing family, I received my certification earlier this year! What a feeling of accomplishment! Honestly… Why had I been so afraid? Yes, it was hard. Yes, it took a lot of effort. However, I wish I would have done this YEARS ago!
Then I felt fear again when I published my coaching and blog website. I had everything set up and ready to go but I remember sitting on the bed, looking at the “Publish” button, and thinking … “Will my blog be helpful to others? Can I do this? What will people think? Will I be successful?” I think I sat there for at least 15-20 minutes, maybe even 30 minutes, letting all the doubts and fears run rampant in my head. But I finally did it! I am working hard to make it a success… and I am having so much fun!
I was even scared to publish my first blog. Once I wrote it, I think I edited and re-edited for several days. I finally let my husband read it, and when he gave me his positive feedback, I finally just posted it. (He seemed kind of surprised at my ability to write. Wait?! What?! … Actually, it was fun hearing his excitement though!) I knew that I could edit it for the next week or the next month and would never feel like it was ready. Posting it on Facebook was a little scary too. But I did it, after sitting there staring at the “Post” button for another 15+ minutes!
You know what I have learned through all of this? Every time I conquer a fear, it gets easier to conquer the next fear! And the next! And the next! I have stepped out of my comfort zone so many times over the past year and, really, in my life. And that is what it takes! Start with baby steps if you have too. But if fear is holding you back from realizing your dream, you have got to push past the fear. I know that you will find, just like I have, that it is normal to feel the fear but the rewards on the other side of your maximum fear… are the best things in life. I am realizing my dream of helping others reach for success. It is the most rewarding feeling! The words of thanks that I have received has been my inspiration to keep pushing past the fear.
You can achieve almost any goal you have if you are willing to do what it takes, including pushing past the fear. Don’t let fear be one of your excuses for not reaching your goals. Brian Tracy states in his book, No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline, that “There are only three requirements for success. First, decide exactly what it is you want in life. Second, determine the price that you are going to have to pay to get the things that you want. And third, and this is most important, resolve to pay that price.” Are you willing to push through fear as part of that price? I highly recommend that you do!
What fears have you overcome lately? And what reward was on the other side of that fear? To encourage others to push past their fears, please post a comment and share your success!
If you want to see Will’s video on YouTube, you can find it here or search for ‘Will Smith Skydiving’. It is 6:06 long and well worth the time.
Another great book on fear is: